Today is the first day of Autumn, a shift from the brilliant colors and deep solar heat of the summer in the northern hemisphere to the cooling weather and warmer tones of fall. Each year the back-to-school feeling from my youth turns into a back-to-the-grindstone feeling of my adult years.

This morning in meditation a stink bug sat on the front of my cushion. I would love to say I was so non-violent as to have no thoughts of exterminating all those stink bugs that have begun to congregate at my windows and sneak into my house. But I did.

At first I thought at least the stink bug was sitting facing forward. Maybe it was meditating with me. But no, soon afterwards it started moving around my cushion and towards my lap. Ugghh. Go away.

With Thich Nhat Hanh's word fresh in my memory, there is only now. Just breath in and out. I am breathing in. I am breathing out. I am...watching that damned stinkbug move all over my legs and then head back to the front of my mat. Good.

Judgement. Good, bad, stinkbug, damned stinkbug. Just words. The truth is that I don't really mind their smell. Sure, it is strong. But it doesn't really bother me. I grew up on a hog farm. I don't really register smells in the same way others seem to do.

So what bothered me? Why did I have an urge to get rid of it, exterminate it?

It seems to be my tendency to want to get rid of things that bother or inconvenience me. This is a hard thing for me to face. I want to be helpful... to a point. Then I get overwhelmed and want to walk away or get rid of the "problem."

Thoughts. I am breathing in. I am breathing out. I am breathing in. I am breathing out.

The thoughts came back. It was time to end. I took the stinkbug by its shell and put it outside.

The work is always here no matter the season.