Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I am curious, nosey, and interested in my surroundings. I have a hard time controlling it. Maybe you have that condition, too?

A man walks into a gated cafe area where I am sitting with a friend. Our food has just come. Lots of people are outside eating and enjoying the sun. I watch him walk through the unlocked gate and immediately notice that his face is severely scarred.

He sees me and makes a bee-line for our table. I see that everyone else is engaged in eating or talking. They do not see him or anyone else not in their line of vision.

I take him in: clean simple clothes, a folded newspaper and an empty Styrofoam cup are clutched behind his back. His hair is clean, but not quite right. Is he crazy or sane? Homeless or wealthy? I can't tell immediately. The cup is clean.

He walks directly up to my place and points at my sandwich. He asks how the food is. Okay. He responds that I chose well and almost touches my sandwich as he pointed at it. My thoughts were: can't I just eat this in peace? is he okay? am I safe?

I am aware that I look him in the eyes - a place where there is no scarring, a place to test his response. His doesn't look alcoholic or drug addled; he doesn't look wild-eyed.

He left and walked in the back door of the restaurant as if he did this every day.
I thought: why me? why do I always attract the crazies? How is it that he decided to talk to me?

Then I felt ashamed. His scars were scary looking. What if people ignored him or worse? What if this were me?

As an after thought, I wished I would have offered him the sandwich. But then, I realized that he never asked for it. Perhaps his dignity was left intact with that quick, simple interaction before I could do any harm.

Maybe, I was presented with another teacher on my path that I didn't recognize in the moment.

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