Heart Work

This morning I woke up from a dream that spoke to my condition. Jung believed that dreams were meant to do just that.

The part I'd like to share is the struggle with identity and ego stuff in the midst of a mid-life realignment.

In real life, I keep telling my family and closest friends that I no longer fit into the roles that I wear: mother, wife, daughter, granddaughter, social worker, Democrat, Quaker, ... whatever I was, I can't breath in them anymore. Those clothes are too tight. However I have defined those roles in the past, they simply don't fit now.

In the dream, I find myself at my maternal grandmother's home. More precisely, I am in her kitchen. My partner and other spiritual friends are there. I try to call one of them who is missing, except I mis-dial the number.

Instead, I get a request line for an internet radio station that plays soul and love music. The disc jockey is working from his home and we can see each other from our respective places. I'm so happy to have found such a wonderful, earthy music station.

I need to know the world-wide web address so that I can enjoy this music, but to ask will give myself away. I can't think of a song fast enough to request and pause too long. He knows.

He quickly recovers and says that I am a winner and will receive pottery inscribed with my favorite love line. I tell him I can't think of just the right one.

Can I call back?

Yes, he responds.

He provides the number and tells me that he or his girlfriend Angell could answer, just so I know. I spell Angell with two L's. He can see that and asks me how I knew to spell it with two L's. I knew because otherwise, she'd be immortal.

When I get off the line, I look and see my long-lost friend in the kitchen. She's the one who embodies love of life. She's an intuitive healer who works at the individual and community level. I see her warm brown eyes and am so glad to see her. I've missed her.

As I awaken from the dream in that twilight in-between state, the line is:
My heart belongs to no-one and everyone.

Thinking this is too self-centered, I quickly amend it to be:
The heart belongs to no-one and to everyone.

And as I sit with my journal, I write:
The Heart belongs to no-one and to everyone.